American Real Estate
Golf is a form of terrorism;
Wall Street is a war zone.
There are winners
and there are losers
in the coastal cities
and the country clubs.
There is a gulf between
you and me and history.
You can’t ever go back
to where you are from,
if you were never going
to proudly wear your past.
Arthritis, AZ
Kneecap me baby
Destroy my hope
I didn’t feel like
Walking today
Anyway
And anyway
Some people
Take steroids
For sickness
Some people
Take steroids
For violence
And anyway
If you want
You can be like me
And drag your ass
Across state lines
Like a skinny gimp
Big on the Luck / Smog in the Sky
I was listening
to country music
all day and all night,
and I realized
it took making a human
to finally be able
to understand humans.
California Concrete
I stack words
on top
of each other
like um
maybe sand
or pan
cakes under
neath
neon signage
near
a pier of some
thing
approximating
Catcalled by an Ese
I was walking down a busy commercial boulevard in
Northeast Los Angeles. I was wearing gym shorts.
He was driving a low rider.
He said to me, “Damn, son. Hike up those shorts a
little more. You look like you could be pretty
behind that mask.”
After I finished running my errands, I went home
and took a nap. When I woke up, I walked the dog
and ate pickled herring on sourdough toast for
dinner. That cholo thought I was a cutie; my wife
thinks I’m an old man in training.
Compartmentalization
is all about being
physically present
without really being
emotionally available.
You can't be
in two places
at one time.
You can't have
integrity without
knowing what is
ultimately integral.
Democracy Is Death
Freeze all mortgages,
make rent free.
We've got heads
to get high
and mouths to feed.
Goddamn the airlines,
goddamn the Ivy League,
goddamn the NFL,
goddamn the meat industry.
Double the pay
of all nurses
and teachers.
Round up bankers
and investors
with a zip-tie lasso;
ghost ride their whips
to the top of a plateau.
I'm looking through
windows like it's 1995—
we're all Crips or Bloods
in the supermarket.
For now,
I'm seeing double negative.
But soon,
I'll be seeing snake eyes.
Fear of Contact
I burned my upper lip
on some hot grits.
I split my lower one
holding back words.
I need to go to the dentist—
he wears a hazmat suit now.
I need to hide in the ceiling—
we crawl in HVAC units now.
Good Taste
Last night
my wife
told me
if she was
a stripper
her name
would be
Umami.
Kompromat
Raspberries and sardines
sounds like a bougie dish
you could find in Moscow.
I accidentally made it
when I let fish juice
spill on a plastic case.
My wife's not Russian,
so she cleaned the fruit
as best as she could.
The soggy bottoms
got fed to our alpha dog
for his pre-breakfast.
No God
There is no god—
how do I know?
Why else would
we have money?
A higher power
needs no wealth.
If there was a god,
we could love more.
There would be
no violent crimes.
We would all just die
at, like, the age of 100.
If there was a god,
god would party, too.
Smoking and drinking
would be good for you.
And last call would be
when the story ended.
October Blues
I painted my one toenail black;
I ripped another one off.
I watched my newborn sneeze,
as he watched me cough.
My wife ignores me like she does;
my friends drink without me.
My life is more to me than prose,
but these days, all I do is read.
One Square Zero
Painting is so pregnant;
sculpture is for suckers.
I'll take photos for proof;
first place for new editions.
Cool it now—is this the end?
Death to all art: World War, forever.
Paid for Money
I called a company a "who"
I called an asshole a "you"
No cop is a good cop
No job is the best job
Poet
is the greatest
occupation
in the world
because you
never have any
expectations
that anyone
will ever care
about anything
you say or do.
Poor Kid
just needs a kiss
poured from
the pitcher of love
but love is only real
if you believe in it
like god and/or capitalism
and we all know that
faith isn't cheap
but wealthy people are
Real Talk (Word to Your Mother)
Every good mother
thinks their son
is a catch,
but the thing is,
most men are shit.
Rodentia
When I'm at a natural food store,
I often feel like talking to a manager.
"How does this gluten-free beer
contain 30g of carbohydrates?"
These are the types of questions
I have for these types of people.
I'm tired of all the rat-ass solutions
these fools draft on mood boards.
Just give me a Budweiser,
a slice of pizza, and silence.
{Scrolling Poem}
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What I Do Now
Late at night,
I imagine myself
as the driver for
a famous mobster.
Maybe I'd live
somewhere like
Buffalo or Tampa.
I could still be a poet;
Buffalo has poetics,
and Tampa has crud.
Nothing really happens
until the sun passes out
like a lightweight drunk.
Nothing ever happens
until the moon flashes
you like a girl gone wild.
I think I could be
an above-average
accessory to crimes
committed in a bubble.
WHO IS KEITH J. VARADI?
THIS PITTSBURGH-BORN
POET LIVED & DRANK IN
LOS ANGELES, WRITING
ABOUT THE ANXIEITES &
DEPRESSION OF AMERICA
WHILE RESEARCHING
THE WORLD FOR MONEY